TAWAR HATI

I guess it’s true when they said we all have our boiling points.

I guess it’s true about, “Ujian terbesar seorang daie adalah apabila dia diuji dengan kata-katanya sendiri.”

Yeah I know. I know about good deeds and stuffs, you don’t need to repeat that. You don’t need to tell me twice about “staying true” etc.

You don’t need to remind me about, “Apabila kamu dilempar sebuah batu, balaslah dengan sebiji buah yang ranum.”

‘Cause I’m only human.

There are times when I rise.

Times when I keep on being patient and tolerating other actions.

Times when I just keep holding on.

Times when I stay supporting to the trusts.

Time when I fake a smile, force a laugh, pretend that I’m enjoying.

I’m only human. Don’t put high expectation that I can tolerate everything. I have emotions. I make my own decisions.

Maybe some decisions aren’t that right, but if I keep hurting myself for the sake of others, I will only break myself, and in the end, others might suffer too.

Don’t come looking back for me only when you need me. I hate it. That’s me.

‘Cause I’m also not a backup plan. If I’m a choice to you, then don’t ever try to choose me, because I won’t let you treat me like one anyway.

Bukan merajuk. Tapi tawar hati. Aku ni kalau ikutkan kalau sayang sangat, aku mudah memaafkan walaupun dia berkali buat kesalahan yang sama, yang kadang too obvious to be true. Aku akan cuba fight reasons yang dia tak salah, kalau apa-apa pun, aku yang salah.

But then, everyone have their limits.

And now I’ve reach mine. I thought you understand.

No, I’ve had enough.

I’m sorry . (don’t know if this came from my heart or not)

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